U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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