I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
