i may or may not be watching the land before time
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
