Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
