I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
