There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
