Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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