sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
