I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
