Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
