Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
