I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
