According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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