***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
another moral hangover. fuck.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
