Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
