**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize