i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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