You can't motorboat a personality
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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