Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
