he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
