North Korea, Best Korea!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
