Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm too high and old for this...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize