I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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