do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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