She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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