so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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