Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
