And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
