Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
