I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
