Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
