I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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