I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Are we still banned from the library?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
