This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The power of my boobs compel you
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
