I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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