Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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