my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
