corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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