I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I supernannyed him into submission
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
