we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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