its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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