And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
