Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm like, not good at living.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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