Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
