I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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