So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
