I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
