Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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