i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
