But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
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