Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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