Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
