Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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