he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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