I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
