I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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