Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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