Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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