Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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