if you like me you must not know who I am
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
two words: eviction party
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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