Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize