the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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