Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize