So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
