The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
how drunk are you?
Several
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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