there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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