I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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