He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
