Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
