meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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