I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
