David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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