ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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